Life is rough....

So I quit taking the metformin.

So I'm losing my home in less than 11days. I've been trying like all hell to get a mobile home with my grandmother as the sole person on the loan. She's not budging b/c my mom has entered negative thinking in her head about me. My mom still assumes I'm very naive about life and what it costs.

I had worked a ten hour shift lastnight and was almost over getting greatly depressed about the pending situation only to get a call from my mother this morning to kill every little spirit I had. I have been determined to try and get a place where I can bring my pets with me and everybody and anybody says I need to get rid of them. It's like ok, if a person told you they'd accept you in the move but your kids had to go, you would travel down every avenue you can just to be able to bring those kids, right? If the person isn't a dead beat who'd be glad to leave the kids behind you'd keep trying and trying. Which I have done and others have failed to see.

I've been unable to sleep for 48hrs and I'm making myself sick when right now I need to be really strong! I have a friend of mine who I love to death but I feel like she is somewhat turning her back on me now. She has been making slick comments here and there and I have been letting most of them roll off my back but now that EVERYTHING seems to be going in the shitter it makes me think of her words even more.

I hate how family says I need to reach out and talk to them more and get help with my problems when they are being more selfish than they claim me to be about lending a real helping hand. My mom says that Med can move over to Jax with them and look for a job but they fail to realize I would have no vehicle and they lack proper parking space for four vehicles that would be at their residence. It's a nice offer but it solves nothing and still leaves me without saving any real money to do what needs to be done.

I feel like I'm below the bottom of the barrel and just keep getting kicked further. No one in my family really knows me well enough to know my true spending habits they can only assume bullshit from when I was younger. But isn't it proof enough that I can handle the world if I haven't come back home to be a deadbeat in over 7yrs? Doesn't that stand for something? I guess not. I dunno if it is my pride that keeps me from just throwing everything away so people can finally feel like "wow, she's lost enough maybe I should consider helping her now" or what. I'm just plum tired!

Oh and this economy and Tallahassee sucks big ass balls! I feel like I will never ever be in a position where I can call the shots b/c everything I try to do to take the right steps toward that direction gets stomped on and then I keep trying only to get pushed further back.

I feel like school is a joke. It gives you false security in believing your talents will set u apart and you'll be wealthy. In most cases it is not true. If it were more true there would be more wealthy people in America and not just 5%. Think about that.