I would kindly like to say, fuck you sir!

So tomorrow morning me and Med go looking at this tiny one bedroom apartment. Which entails me getting rid of 6 of my 8 cats. It makes me want to vomit profusely just thinking about it.

My grandmother had said she would allow us to stay with her until we could save up money, but has since called me earlier this morning and told me that I would not be able to stay with her. What was said to me was b/c my mother said since I didn't do a good job living here (in my house) I shouldn't be welcomed in her house and that I want to avoid the real world and not pay rent. Assumptions are like assholes, everyone has one. Everyone assumed I would just stay and mooch off granny with no real intentions of moving out. Sorry to burst your bubble but I don't even like her house and I've always hated staying there. She doesn't have A/C and has a roach problem. Oh yeah, I would really just sit there for months and months in that kind of filth. Fuck you.

Hmmz...if I wanted to avoid the real world and not pay rent or "supposedly" be responsible at all I would have nothing left b/c of my own doing not b/c I was trying to help them out. It's a long sticky story but in the end I know I'm not to blame for all of this. I'm just the scapegoat like I have always been in the family. *sighs*

Life right now has just taken a very nasty turn and my family has proven to me I should have never opened up to them at all. My grandmother says she will still try and get all of my aunts and uncles to sign over the land to me, but in the morning I will call her and tell her don't even bother. Just forget I even existed. I want all of them to forget I existed. Just lose my number, burn my birth certificate, there is no Karen! Fuck you!

I have tried very hard to harbor all this pain and emotion inside. I didn't even start crying about any of this drama until a couple days ago when every avenue I tried smacked me down. Every time I hear one more thing being said about me or another rejection on top of knowing I need to be gone out of this house soon, makes me want to snap! I'm not usually a violent person but I feel like it will only take another trigger to push me all the way over the edge.