Open Relationships: What's the hype?

So this blog will just be a jumble of questions and thoughts on the subject matter of open relationships.

Why is it that most couples who want to do an open relationship are high school sweethearts? In my mind I think most of those couples do the whole open relationship thing b/c they are too use to each other being in their everyday life. Also b/c they realized they have cut their partying days short by sticking to the first good relationship they thought they had. They can't imagine splitting and being happy with someone else. I also think the whole open thing sounds appealing in that situation b/c it's a way to date or fool around with someone else without having to deal with breaking up with the current/original lover and then realize that may not have been the best idea and have to come crawling back.

I suppose my whole idea on the subject is centered on the fact that people are creatures of habit and don't like being alone. They need some kind of security.

Some older couples say they do the whole open thing to spice up their life. I'm sure it does, but it still ties into my thinking of "why bother breaking up when we can just openly date others while still sleeping with each other every night?" Or... one partner thinks they can finally act out their desires without feeling bad about hurting the other one. Possibly sex is just so vanilla between the two and they just want a certain sexual need to be met without losing the qualities they like in their lover otherwise.

Possibly open relationships are formulated b/c we have two bisexual partners paired or one bisexual and one heterosexual. I mean you can think of many more factors with the make up of the relationship but you get where I'm going, right? I suppose in this situation it would appear to be good for one partner to be able to showcase their desires without feeling guilty. Or just to find sexual acceptance in how they are.

Okay. We have heard relationships becoming open just b/c the man wanted a fantasy to be filled for one night and the wife/girlfriend goes along with it to keep the man intact.

Warning signs would ring in my head if my boyfriend wanted to add another female to the equation. Not b/c I'm jealous hearted but b/c it says I'm not doing something right or maybe it's time we stop using each other as crutches and just move on. I wouldn't want to openly be in a bedroom with him and some other female. A lot goes thru my mind when I see or hear that type of stuff. Like is he asking b/c I'm lacking, is he ready to split, does he really think he can bend me(manipulate) enough to do such a thing while having his cake and eating it too? Stuff like that. See, my mind is always going!

I just texted a couple guyfriends who opinions I value to give me a bit of input on their thinking of the subject. The question was worded as such: I need a guys input on why you would want an open relationship while having been with your current partner for a number of years or months?

One guy responded that he would do it as a safety net and fear of commitment.

LoL the other one was asking if I was talking about me or him, b/c I guess about our current situation. After explaining that I was blogging he sent his new response. It goes: "Sometimes when your with someone for a long time the line between where you end and they begin gets blurred. You kinda lose your identity. And you need to back off a little to focus yourself again and get a new perspective. Some fresh eyes."

I told the second one I was leaning toward the safety net reason and he mentioned that guys are all about their identity and females are more wired for security. I said that could be true but it depends on what kind of person your dealing with. An independent woman would do it b/c of her lost identity in the relationship and an insecure man would do it for security.

I'm just really interested to hear any and everyone, who reads this, thoughts on the subject. Narrow minded people need not bother commenting.

I would personally consider the option of an open relationship as a means for me to have more sexual experience that I cut out of my life b/c I decided to live with a boyfriend too soon. I was never truly head over heels in love with him, but I have never felt that way with anyone. I was never big on the dating scene and I go with the flow. I don't get over dramatic about stuff and I'm easily pacified with the idea of just moving onto something else to do to busy myself. I guess I'm insecurely independent.
LoL, what I mean by that is I sometimes feel like my identity has been lost as far as the shit I put up with him but I know I don't dwell on the whole "we, us, our, together" shit. I'm only insecure b/c regardless of the financial pull I have in this relationship I wouldn't be able to handle it all on my own without really being unavailable to the prospect of a new option. So I sit until I've reached that point to say enough is enough and I rather fly solo or win the lottery. Whichever comes first, lol!